hello cunt

oknope:

people who think i’m attractive:

  1. my mom
  2. nobody
  3. nobody
  4. no one 

merlinwhosuperpotterlock:

"i can’t eat that, i’ll get fat"

image

"i can’t sleep in late today i have to do work"

image

"no i can’t watch a whole season in one go that’s lazy"

image

"i can’t-"

image

bookmad:

"fat girls shouldn’t—"

—have to deal with your narrow minded bullshit.

unlawfully:

Having a cute waiter like I’ll have the chicken with a side of that dick

breakinq:

following back tons
If celery is 90% water, is the ocean 10% celery?

rninor:

weepingdildo:

landorus:

lets have phone sex over walkie talkies

"I’ll make you moan, over"

"bend over"
"bend what? over"

funkies:

drake got me thinkin bout my ex and i dont even have an ex

thankful-werewolf:

puhgs:

really tho straight guys will go on and on about how uncomfortable it makes them when gay guys hit on them but lets be fucking honest how many times have u seen a guy continue to hit on another guy after hes visibly uncomfortable vs. how many times a straight guy has continued to hit on a girl after shes visibly uncomfortable 

This needs more notes

dulect:

will you still love me when i’m no longer young and image

shavingryansprivates:

"can i ask you something?"

"you just did"

image

cybugs:

one time my uncle bought a tumbleweed so every time one of his students made a bad joke he could roll it across the classroom